why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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