My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
