I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
