Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
