Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Randomize
