I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
