is your mom at the bar?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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