I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
