So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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