you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
