so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
