He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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