Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
