Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
