somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
