he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
