i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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