So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
