he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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