They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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