I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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