I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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