She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
