hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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