Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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