Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
