My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
