would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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