I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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