he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
