Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
