i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
