She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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