those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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