blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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