We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
