He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
