So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
