I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
