He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
