Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
