On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
