we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
