At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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