like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
