if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
