I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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