if you like me you must not know who I am
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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