You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Randomize
