level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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