Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
