My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i don't like sucking hair
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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