Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
