I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
