haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
